Brain fog in perimenopause: a pause, not an ending

My dear, you are not losing your mind. I promise.

You walk into the kitchen and stand there. Why did you come in? You were in the middle of a sentence at work, and the word simply left. You have known your best friend for thirty years, and for one terrible second, her name is not there.

This is brain fog. And in perimenopause, it is very, very common.

Why it happens

Your hormones are changing, and oestrogen does a lot of quiet work in the brain. When its levels go up and down, many women notice that memory, focus and finding words become harder. Add poor sleep and hot flushes at night, and of course the mind feels slow in the morning.

In one big study of women going through menopause, called SWAN, about six in ten women noticed changes in their memory. And here is the part nobody tells you: for most women, memory comes back after menopause.

It is a pause… not an ending.

I like to think your brain is simply rearranging the furniture. It is noisy for a while. Things are not where you left them. But the room is still yours.

What helps

• Write things down. A small notebook by the front door. I keep mine next to my keys, so I find both. Usually.
• Protect your sleep. A tired brain forgets more. A body scan at bedtime can help you drift off (I have one for you here).
• Move a little every day. A walk around the block counts.
• Be kind about it. Laugh, if you can. Panic makes the fog thicker.

A small anchor to try

This is a technique from my practice. It takes one minute.

1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
2. Remember a moment when your mind felt clear and sharp. See where you were. Hear the sounds.
3. When the feeling is strongest, gently press your thumb and index finger together.
4. Breathe out slowly, and let go.

Do this a few times over the week. Then, the next time a word goes missing, press thumb and finger together, breathe out, and wait. Very often, the word comes back on its own.

If the forgetting worries you, or it is getting worse, please talk to your doctor. It is always fine to ask.